Done...so far

I finished writing about everything on my to blog about list so far. I didn't totally stick to the list I wrote about some other things here and there. But I'm done now I'm listening to Guns N Rosas wondering what to blog about next? I have a couple of ideas. Somethings I would really like to blab about I can't because they could be used against me in a court of law, true story. So I will stick to subjects that won't get me in trouble. Here is my list of things I want to blog about next.

I know it's only 3 things but it's better then nothing. Now let's see how long it takes me to write about all of these.

Those tattoos <3

I have a mental list of different tattoos I keep meaning to get. So here is my list.











1. A picture of my children turned into cartoons

2. The words "live, love, burn, die"

3. My famous girl sleeve which will include a portrait of my mom.

4. My Costa Rican tattoo.

5. A monsters ink leg sleeve.

Ahhh...for now I will day dream of getting them.

Sorry no kids allowed!

I worked half a day today and it was pretty slow so I was reading crap on yahoo and I came across a article that said many places are banning child. Some restaurants, super markets, hotels, and airlines are among the ones doing it. Most places are banning children under 6. Could this have to do with so many people choosing now a days not to have spawn? If you don't have kids does it make our tolerance for them low? Or is it just bad parents who don't know how to control the evil spawn they have created that ruin it? I'm 26 and honestly I still have a good amount of high school friends who are single and have not procreated. I even have cousins in their late 30s who have great careers and have chosen to stay single and not breed. I have pushed 2 kids out of me so I don't fall under the spawn free category. There has never been a time where my kids have acted out so horrible in public that I have gotten a evil look and I've never been told I need to leave a establishment because other customers are complaining. If that ever happened I would be beyond mortified and my kids would be in the worst trouble ever! I have one aunt who has 4 kids. She is a stay at home mom and I honestly love how she has raised her children they are all well behaved, non messy, respectful kids. My bff has 5 children and her kids are also good and don't run around like wild animals causing havoc she too is a stay at home mom who is raising her babies right. Then we have my cousin who just popped out spawn #4 by the way she is a stay at home mom who's never had a job other then that. Her older daughter has become more well behaved but her older son is a different story, he almost started a fire last week so my son will most def not be going over there anymore. When her son was little he would do shit to my kid like throw toys at his face and all my cousin use to say was " no benji stop" never once did she get her skinny ass of the couch grab the little bastard and say "hey look you little shit your asking for a ass beating if you don't start behaving!" No I'm not saying to beat your child but scare the dam kid so they behave! Maybe if more parents did kids wouldn't be banned from certain establishments. Kids don't come out of their moms knowing how to behave. Each parent must do their best to raise their child and teach them what they can or can't do. Who knows how many other places will be banning children in the near future. There are kid free resorts that offer great vacations in a child free environment for people who want to get away from the evil spawn they have created. I hope people remember that when they have their first kid if they find it to hard and difficult they should stop breeding. If they have a second child and are going insane, struggling with everyday life, get on the best birth control ever and stop having kids because your kids will likely be the ones who run like psychos everywhere and cause good kids to be banned from places.

Drivin solo.

Most people hate to drive. I only hate to drive while being stuck in traffic. I think It has to do with moving so slow and not being able to sing in the car cuz I know some idiot is next to me. I also almost always feel safer as the driver. There are very few people whose driving I'm ok with. If the hubs drives sometimes I use my imaginary brake. See when I was very huge and near the end of my pregnancy with my daughter he slammed on the brakes so hard while in slow moving traffic it scared the crap out of me. Good thing my daughter didn't pop out of me right then and there. I almost always drive everywhere we go. I got my license when I was 17. I remember being so nervous during my behind the wheel and parking test. But I passed the first time! Woo! I love to drive with the radio on super loud so I can sing my ass off when I'm alone. Like most girls I do my singing in the shower (I've always kept a radio in the bathroom since I was 8) and in the car. My first camry didn't have a aux cable for my iPod. My camry now does and it's a lifesaver. Makes using a iPod or cell phone with music so easy. I love it. The hubs has brought up the topic of driving to Texas since he's kids live out there but I feel that a 19 hour drive would be torture to my kids. Maybe some day when they are old? I don't know we will see.

Sorry doesn't make it better.

I'm sorry that you don't want to go back to the place your at most of the year. I'm sorry you wish you could get sick so you could stay longer. I'm sorry you play a sport you don't truly love. I'm sorry you have to change another Childs diapers. I'm sorry you have to live so far away. I wish I could do more to help you with these things. I'm sorry that I can't.

Blood type O positive.

I like donating blood or plasma. I really do. I would rather donate blood though. I have no problem going to a United Blood services office or mobile office to do it. I don't do it for money. I did get free movie tickets once though. I have type O positive blood. The universal blood, which means it can be used on other blood types but I myself can only receive O positive if needed. Sadly I have not donated blood since 2006 =/ once I got the courage to finally get a tattoo. See most states have a law that does not let you donate blood till a year after you have gotten a tattoo. Which I have not gone a whole entire year with out getting a tattoo since then. Whether it's a actual piece or just a touch up I haven't lasted a year. It makes me feel kinda bad to know I can't go and donate blood. It's important to do since we never know when we can have a nation wide emergency and blood can be needed or if a hospital patient needs extra blood to keep them from dying after a bad car accident. We live in a world that has made many of us turn into ungratefuls because we've never suffered true hardship or tragedy. Most of us have never been in the position were we actually need blood or a loved one has died because the hospital did not have enough blood for them. I love getting tattoos and I do think it is unfair that I can't donate blood because of it. But I do understand that because not everyone gets tattoos in a shop or clean environment is the reasons why these rules have been put in place. Not every state has the same tattoo laws and due to the fact that anybody can buy a tattoo machine and start scratching people skin makes it a health hazard. It does suck for those of us who get tattooed by trained professionals who do everything properly to insure that there is no cross contamination. I think anybody who is in good health should go donate blood if they can. You never know it might save a life. Maybe sometime soon I'll challenge myself to go a whole year with out a tattoo so I can donate once again.

50/50

What is this 50/50 you speak of??? So far I haven't seen it much. Hmmm maybe some day I will? No, no I doubt it. I'll continue to pretend though for my self and my stress levels. The bad ones never fail at ruining it for the good ones, now ain't that the dam truth. Now it's time to hit the land of dreams and hope I don't have any of those recurring nightmares. I wonder if they actually mean anything. Let's hope not.

It warms my <3

They make me happy, they warm my heart. I am speaking of Atreyu. No I'm not talking about the movie. I'm talking about the band, who has found it's way into my heart. They've become my favorite over these past years. I've had the chance to see them twice and I even have a autograph drum head from them. If you don't listen to them you should. They got me through the lamest 7 months of my life. Everyday I would drive my one hour drive to work with them on super loud singing my ass off preparing my self for another day to survive my long lame 7 months. I don't get tired of them. I can listen to them over and over. From "Lip gloss and black" to "Storm to pass" I love it all. When "Her portrait in black" comes on it gives me chills I love how it starts off so heavy. "Blow" gives me the courage to tell lairs to fuck off! "Bleeding mascara" makes me wanna sing! "Ex's and oh's" makes me wanna dance. I love "The crimson". Below I posted some of my favorite lyrics by them. I had to post all of "Blow" though. It's just for one of those days when you wanna beat a punching bag or somebodies face. I hope they start touring soon. I'm getting my concert fix next month with Weezer but I still wanna see Atreyu again.

Can you feel her
Running through your veins?
She will always live forever**Her portrait in black***



Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?
So crimson and red, I feel it flowing from your lips (crimson and red)
My heart is dead and so are you**The crimson***

"Look how pretty she is, when she falls down,
Now there is no beauty in, bleeding mascara,
Lip are quivering, like a withering rose" **Bleeding Mascara**



You took me home
I drank too much
'Cause of you my liver turned to dust
Cold rust taste
A cruel creeping cold pain
Do you understand what I mean?
When you feel your soul drop to the floor
Like a hole
Like an open bleeding sore
Then you'll have bled like I bled
And you'll have wept as I've wept

Suck me down, it's time to rock and roll
Let's hit the bar, let's lose control
One false move, you took me home
One false move, you're all alone**Ex's and oh's**









So fuckin' blow those words out the back of your head,
I've heard it all and I'm done with that shit,
You tell me lies, and you get what you get,
so blow those fuckin' words out the back of your head.

Oh my god did you just hear
lies are coming back in style?
Oh my god this seems so real that they find you,
and confine you

So shut your mouth, we've heard it all.
Hypocrite's and critics all
can fuck off we do this for our souls,
our souls.

What they say, won't make us go away.

So fuckin' blow those words out the back of your head,
I've heard it all and I'm done with that shit,
You tell me lies,
and you get what you get,
so blow those fuckin' words out the back of your head.

We're not sorry and we won't conform.
It's not our choice but something inborn.
If we fail followin' are hearts
can you blame us? (No, no, no)

A square peg in a black hole
We don't fit in that's the way it goes.
You should of not thought you're better than us,
no, you're not.
(No, no, no)

What they say, won't make us go away.

So fuckin' blow those words out the back of your head,
I've heard it all and I'm done with that shit,
You tell me lies,
and you get what you get,
so blow those fuckin' words out the back of your head.

So fuckin' blow those words out the back of your head,
I've heard it all and I'm done with that shit,
You tell me lies,
and you get what you get,
so blow those fuckin' words out the back of your head.
(Blow, blow, blow)
Blow those fuckin' words out the back of your head.

Tell yourself yourself you're not alone at all.
(Looking out your window, know you're all alone)
Oh, tell yourself you're not alone at all. (At all)
(Staring out your window, know you're alone)

What they say, won't make us go away.
Go away, go away, go away.

So fuckin' blow those words out the back of your head,
I've heard it all and I'm done with that shit,
You tell me lies,
and you get what you get,
so blow those fuckin' words out the back of your head.

So fuckin' blow those words out the back of your head,
I've heard it all and I'm done with that shit,
You tell me lies,
and you get what you get,
so blow those fuckin' words out the back of your head.
(Blow, blow, blow)
Blow those fuckin' words out the back of your head.
(Of your head, of your head, of your head)
Yea!**Blow***




I know that it's killing me,
and it's poisoning the best of me,
What I see, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you more, tell you more,
about the lies I lead.**Slow burn***


Watching, waiting
Dreadful, shaking
Will the storm pass over us today?
Will lighting strike our sins away?
Watching, Waiting
Falling, Shaking
Will the storm pass over us today?
Or is the future looking grey?**Storm to pass***

I of course want to get my Atreyu tattoo someday. "Live, Love, Burn, Die"

The 2 boys

I gave birth to my Bryan Anthony. I carried him for 39 weeks, had him with out pain meds and survived. If I had my way I would have kept him a 1 yr old forever. He has become so big. Today he made me upset when I came home because he told me he was bored and was practically in tears. So I told him "oh your bored? I'll show you bored!" and sent him upstairs to read a book. After dinner I sat and spoke with about a tragic event that has happened on his fathers side of the family and explained how they needed money. I told him how much they probably needed and asked him if he would be willing to help and he offered half of his savings which isn't much since he's only 10. But he said he was willing to donate it and wait on buying what he's been saving for. Of course I didn't take his money. I just put it out of my pocket. I usually get very annoyed because his dad doesn't help with money but today I'm thankful my baby and I have made it just fine all these year with out it thank God.

I didn't carry Zen, I didn't even know the baby Zen but I became his step mom once I married the Hubs. Every kid is picky. My son and step daughter are very picky. My husband is a picky ass too. But Zen isn't he's willing to try everything once. He makes cooking a home meal rewarding because he eats and asks for seconds. When he leaves in a few days I'm gonna miss cooking him meals. He doesn't get along with Bryan or Wednesday all the time but he is a protective big brother to the 3 smaller kids.

Guess I"ll hit up marriage next...

Do we really each have a soul mate? I mean If you date somebody and break up with them and that was your soul mate is that it? Does that mean you'll never find that one person you are meant to be with till your old wearing depends and pissing off your kids who now have to take care of you. I do know I believe marriage is forever. Even though we now live in a world were somebody could cheat on you via text, twitter, email, facebook, fling.com, and any other social networking sites around. As humans we can open our hearts to loving anyone, wether they are right, wrong, what we need or don't need.

What defines a great marriage? A great huge dream wedding with people you hardly ever talk to and puts you in debt before you even start you new life. A simple wedding with no body but you and your partner there? Doesn't matter what kind of a wedding you had or didn't have. As long as you go in knowing that this is the person your gonna wake up to everyday with hair all fucked up, make up all un done and grouchy on somedays for the rest of your life. Everyday you have to remind your self for better or worse. It's 65% agreeing and 35% disagreeing. Remember the D word is nasty, don't ever toss that out at each other in times of anger.

I've been living this married life for a little over 3 years. It's not perfect because nothing in this world is perfect but it is pretty awesome. I had pre marriage rules set up before I ever met my husband. First of all no marrying somebody you considered a best friend. I tell my best friend when I'm on my period and other very girly things that men know nothing about. Things that could gross out a guy you want to be intimate with. My second biggest was no guys with kids because I didn't want baby mama drama. Of course look at what I ended up getting into. He has two kids with his x and now their custody has been set up finally. When I met him he was still in the divorce process. We have had our ups and downs most of the downs have always had something to do with his past. But we keep moving forward remembering that we are married, love each other way too much, hace a hard time being apart, share a beautiful 3 year old daughter and actually do want to grow old together. Personally I'm pretty sure he will rock a hearing aid, be even more blinder then he already is, will for sure use a walker or cane. I'm hoping cane though lol. Will drive me absolutely insane because he will probably get lost a lot, fall more often then he already does and be so much more stubborn and forgetful then he already is. But that's ok because I can picture the old him in my mind. If you can't picture yourself and your partner old then you many want to search a little more. In the 2 other long term relationships I had been in I could never picture the older them.

I do believe sometimes marriage isn't for everybody. For along time I thought maybe it wasn't for me. Especially after I felt so let down by what I had been through when I was younger. I'm thankful I have my husband and that he's around to make me laugh cheer me up, drive me nuts and kiss me. I read on yahoo once that if you ever become so upset with your spouse to write their eulogy and that if it tears you up and makes you realize how much pain losing them would bring then you know you still love them. You must always remember a relationship is work, lots and lots of hard work that you both must do and keep it up because if only one works at it and the other doesn't then your wasting your time. You gotta suck up your pride sometimes when you are wrong. Of course you must compromise almost all the time and don't go to bed mad at each other. Remember none of that you sleep on the couch bullshit. If you know what ticks of your spouse don't do it. Be honest, if you spent 5 bucks admit it because the bank and receipts tell no lies. Always do your best to keep your spouse and yourself happy. Talk it out don't fight it out. Help each other always.

Number 5 off my to do list. The BFF's

Who said you can only have 1 bff? I have more then one. I have 2. And no one isnt my husband. Why does everyone say you have to marry your best friend? I think that is completely incorrect. I love my till death do us part man but its not the same relationship i have with my bffs. These 2 are freaking awesome! No I'm not sayin my hub isn't but it's just a different relationship friendship. I wanna cuddle and grow old with the hub. I wanna grow old and have my bffs around but I don't wanna cuddle with them. Haha! Anyways enough of that. Back to the bff's , Judy and Norma. Girls I love you more then you will ever know. Even though I'm 4 hours away I miss you both everyday.


When I was in second grade at Liggett elem I had a friend named Elizabeth, she introduced me to a girl named Judy. We didn't really hit it off at first. But then once we discovered that our moms went to the same church group every Tuesday we became friends. We would hang out together in the church outside lunch area while our moms prayed inside at the church group. Some weeks she wouldn't go and I remember being so bummed and bored without her. Years went by and once it came time for me to pick a middle school to go to I picked Holmes in Northridge because that's where Judy went. I didn't know anybody else but Judy my first day there since all my friends from the elementary school I went in Sylmar (I left Liggett in 3rd grade) went to other middle schools. I remember being so sad when I got stuck in all honors classes and found out I had not one single class with Judy. I went to the school counselor and lied and said that honors was way to hard and had them transfer me so I could have a chance of having a class with Judy. I think that semester we ended up with computer class and p.e together. Middle school was a trip together for sure. I was more a KROQ girl and Judy was more a Power 106 girl. The first time I ditched school was with Judy...shhhh don't tell my mom. Ditching was one thing she never caught me doing no need to tell her now..lol. We would spend hours on the phone together, anyone remember 3 way calling? When we would go to church retreats we always had a blast. Remember when we got lost in Whitter? Good times. Our times at the church fair were always fun. The sleep overs we had were the best. We should have a sleep over soon by the way. You down? High school had it's good times too. We had English class together and there was never a boring day. I miss all our talks and all the good laughs and scares we ever had. I'm sorry for the time me and April made you sit in the middle of the truck. Lol. I miss her all the time especially now that we have kids i wish we lived close to each other so they could all be friends. By the near end of 10th grade we parted ways. I decided to take independent studies since my dad had moved to Vegas first I figured it was best so my mom wouldn't have to worry about dropping me off to school everyday. Plus I had also heard that doing independent studies was faster and it was I finished a semester by April instead of June. Sometimes I think we would both just love to have one more day of high school or Middle school together.


When I was 14 I started dating the father of my son. He came from a big family that was different then my lil family. One of his sisters Norma became my best friend. It wasn't right away. But as I started coming around more we became closer. While I took independent studies I had a lot of free time which I spent with Norma. I would go over and go to the cemetery with her to visit her mom and just talk about life and have lunch. Now on the most stressful days I just wanna drive to the cemetery and meet her there. Once I became pregnant with my son she was there for me all the time. Being that I couldn't drive and my parents had moved to Vegas by then she would take me to my Doc appts when her brother couldn't. She would take me to school too. When ever I had craving and her insensitive brother didn't care much she would make sure I had it. She makes the best ceviche ever. I learned a lot of things from her. She is like a big sister to me. We tell each other everything. Her coffee is way better then any starbucks coffee. Plus good conversation doesn't come with starbucks coffee. She taught me lots of things on how to be good mother. I'll never be as good as her but I try. Even after I spilt from her brother she never judged me or treated me bad. She's been wonderful with my daughter Mia who isn't her blood niece but will grow up calling her Tia Norma and she been excepting of my nerdy clumsy husband. I wish she lived down the hall like she use to when I was pregnant with Bryan. She gave me the courage to have Bryan with out a epideral. Lol ouch. She called me today and I wish I could have been there for her to give her a big huge hug because she needed it.


To my 2 bff's I would love for both of you to please move to Vegas. Please!

If I could I would tell you fuck you in your face.

Dear little angry old man,


You need to act your fucking age. Yes act like that 50 something that you are. Not like your 10. It's fucking annoying. My 10 yr old acts better then you. I would love for my daughter to meet you but since you have a creepy bipolar attitude with all your fuck yous, I hope you get hurt and other bad things you wish upon people it's best if she doesn't meet you. It seriously makes me sick that you would even treat your boys the way you do. They are all you have in this world. All your money and stupid charity work you do isn't going to take care of you once your time comes to rock depends (old people diapers). Your a miserable amargado viejo cagado. Your kids may have never seen you struggle to pay bills or things like that. But all your fits they have memories of. I would like for you to change I would but I doubt that will ever happen...ever. I hope my daughter never asks about you because I really don't feel like explaining why you have never met her.


Much dislike, your daughter in law


Ps. Stop wearing socks and sandals it's rather gay looking little man and water doesn't cure everything.

Family or loneliness?

I have a family member who is used by her children. Yes we all have family that we rely on sometimes. I rely on my mom babysitting my children. My children love her and they have a relationship I never had the chance to have with my grandmothers who both didn't live in the US. I feel bad for my family member I don't know why she let's her children and grandchildren use her. She's getting older in a few more years somebody will have to probably take care of her and I don't see her selfish kids helping her. They don't help her now why would they later? All they do is ask for things money, money, and more money. They all work but it's never enough she's always having to help them all the time. She's helped buy them homes and other big things. I asked her once why are you helping your kids so much they are soooooo grown up and need to do it on their own if they aren't living with in their means then they need to start, not ask you for money. She told it was because she felt bad for them. It's upsetting to see how much effort and sacrifice she does for these ungrateful brats she keeps funding. She's in a denial of some sort as well. In her eyes her non of them are much need of a psychiatric evaluation or drug users. To her they are are perfect even when they totally disrespect her they are perfect. I hope one day she opens her eyes and notices that it's time to focus on herself and not worry if her 40 something year old child can pay a bill. We all worry about our kids and yes they are our babies but there has to be a line somewhere. When I'm nearing my 70's my kids better be able to lead lives were they can pay to live the lifestyle they pick. If anybody is taking care of anybody I would hope it would be my kids helping me since social security may not be around by then. I think she needs to read this book.

With my 2 extra.

Yes it is summer time and we are at full house status since my husbands 2 kiddos are here for a few more weeks for summer. Last weekend we took a road trip to Cali. Saturday we all went to Six Flags except for our youngest. She went to Disneyland with my sister who is now her favorite person ever for that. Sunday we spent a long day at the beach. Monday we came home. This morning I couldn't think of what to do with all the kids since the hubs was at work till 4 and I wanted to get them out of the house. I thought maybe the movies but then thought there isn't any kids movie out that any of them are dying to see. Chuck E. Cheese came to my mind since I know the step kids never really get to go there. Then I thought what about ice skating. I haven't been in years and years. Probably since I was about 10. My dad use to take me sometimes when we lived in the valley there was a place in North Hollywood. I loved going there. I remember how much I wanted a pair of my very own skates instead of renting the ugly green ones they had at the rink. My dad never got on the ice with me. It's funny because the man taught me to ride a bike, he helped me learn to roller skate, roller blade and he doesn't know how to do any of those things but he helped me learn. I knew enough from roller blading and roller skating to serve on the ice alone. Thank God I never fell. The first time I tired it I did hold on to the side wall but I got the hang of it later and didn't have to any more after. Today when we got to the rink there was a lot of parents out on the ice with their kids. They also had those things kids push and hold on to so they don't fall. It's like a walker for ice skating. I got one to help my 3 yr old go around the rink. My stepson said he had used roller blades before but my step daughter and son didn't have any skating experience at all. It was all 4 kids first time which was great because I have never had the chance of just me doing something with all of them for the very first time. All the kids had fun. They all fell on their asses a few times but I am proud of them because none of them gave up they all kept going till the rink closed. I have decided that I will be taking my son and daughter more often till they do get the hang of skating. I want them to learn and I want to be there to help them along the way. The only thing I missed today was having my dad there to help me tie my laces really really tight. I sure could have used him for that today.

I want a order of Canada, with a order of England and Australia on the side.

Most people who want to travel want to go to places that speak languages other then English. Some want to go to Japan, China, Italy, and France. I on the other hand would rather go to places that speak English as their primary language. Yes I am well aware that I my English will sound strange to Canadians, the Brits and Australians. I'm ok with that. It's much better then attempting to speak a language I totally don't understand.


First I want to go to Canada. The hubs may not be able to go with me on this one but I still wanna go see my friend Andrea and check out Calgary. I also want to try to see how much Canadian alcohol I can consume. Seriously I do, their beer has more alcohol then ours.

England your number 2 on my list. I've heard your cold most of the time and fairly expensive. I still wanna go. I want to wonder London. I want to see a Castle. I want to hear your people talk because I love how they sound. Only thing I'm scared of is the long flight out there. My cousin invited me once but I found out I was pregnant with my daughter a few weeks later so I couldn't go.

Number 3 Australia! Yes I love how a Australian talks. I want to go there and see how it is. I know they have jelly fish infested beaches and that more then half the country is filled with dangerous snakes and who knows what else. I still want to go. But my fear of really long plane flights might get me on this one because this is a really long flight from Vegas.

Adopt me!

Since I was a kid I have always known one thing. Someday I would like to adopt a child. I was always the kid who watched feed the children for hours on the weekends. If not I would watch a show in Spanish about donating money to children who had no food or proper shelter. I think that sparked my adoption idea, I remember wishing I could bring one of the kids home to live with me. Once while in Mexico waiting to go to the airport a child a lil older then me asked my father for taco money and he told us he was poor and had no parents, I remember asking my father to please let him come home with us because I wanted a brother and he had no family. I felt horrible leaving that kid behind. I didn't know him but knowing he had nobody made me who at the time was only 4 feel so bad that he couldn't just come home with us. I didn't know why some kid would be left alone to wonder the dangerous streets on Mexico.  I have 2 kids that I carried and gave birth to. I have 2 I have gained from marriage. My heart has always wanted 3. Yes technically I have 4 but 2 of them only spend about 60 days a year with us. The other 300 they are with their mother. So most of the time it's just my 10 yr old and 3 yr old. My mom had 3 kids, my sister has 3 kids. 3 just seems like a good number, it's not too much and not too little. 

I've only mentioned it to a few people in my life that I would like to adopt. My sons father thought I was insane for wanting to bring a strange child that was not blood into the family. Hmmmmmmmmmm could have to do with a reason why me and him are no longer together. Why is it crazy to want to care for a child who needs a caring loving family? Why get knocked up when their are so many kids out there who need someone? If you think adoption is crazy well then I think your a heartless asswipe. A guy I dated for 2 years thought adoption was a crazy idea too. Now as for my husband we have discussed it. He says he would be fine with adoption but I don't know exactly how much effort he would put towards actually going through with it since he has other goals he wants to focus on. We have looked at the idea of having 1 more child but our daughter is still too young. Sorry I'm the kind of person who wants kids 5 yrs apart. By the time a child is 5 they understand more who that crying baby is that you brought home from the hospital. I don't have a crazy goal of by when I wanna have all my kids. If I have one after 30 no big deal. Truth is I want a little boy though. If I had another child I wouldn't be able to pick the sex. Now if I could adopt I would be able too. 

Here are the problems with adoption though. If you adopt a child from the U.S it's very expensive and no matter how many papers you sign the biological mom could always try to come into the picture. It's also very time consuming and it could take a few years before we even get a child. Thats if we even get approved. Now there is out of country adoption I've looked into that. It's still expensive but the process isn't that long. Only thing is that it would take a few trips to the childs country to get everything organized and sometimes there are hold ups with immigration. 


As for our financial situation we wouldn't be able to afford adoption for a few years. Between the husband paying child support, spending over 2k on plane tickets a year for his kids to fly out here and my sons father avoiding child support like a mutha fucker money gets tight. Thank God we aren't poor poor but we don't exactly have 10k set aside to try to get a adoption process started. This may not be something I will ever get to do in my life but it's something I would love to do if I got the chance. A person I admire very much is a wonderful mother to the child she adopted years ago as a baby and is now a grown successful young man, who has a amazing relationship with her. Maybe one day " si dios quiere " like my mom says, my dream of adoption could happen.