F It

What I really fuckin want is to go to Ink N Iron in June.











I want my fucking child support case to go through and start getting 7 fucking years of backed up child support. I also want to get my ass to Canada this fuckin year too. I want to get my right arm sleeve going too! But guess fucking what?! Some ish always has to fuckin happen!









That stupid rain cloud has to come and fuck up the parade and keep my inner selfishness from coming the fuck out like it would like to.  F yous cloud!

Pay up Sucka...

My 11 yr old son has never received a child support payment. His father has not helped support him  since he was 4 yrs old. Lovely don't you think? ( in my most sarcastic tone ever) If my kid needs new shoes, clothes or food he doesn't care cause he never helps. Today my friend posted something about child support which I thought was rather awesome. Here it is:



" Bros if u got kids handle what's urs and pay the dam child support ,u cant run from it anyway , I know alot of chic's dont deserve help cause they won't work themselves but the money u pay helps ur Childs quality of life in some way , sick of hearing bout ur problems especially when ur behaving as a boy would..u was man enough to give her tha D now own up to responsibilities... It ain't bad as u think, ull pay alot more living with her and feeding her lazy ass anyway.. But dont make the kid suffer anymore than they already are.. Ijs.... Be a man dont jus say u are"

Cynric Reasun Moore

Beyond the budget.

Here's the thing. There is cheap, misspending, budget, and just making sure you have enough to survive should things get really bad. A long time ago when I made a good amount of money a year only had one child and my car was paid off I would buy lunch every single day at work. Spending 7 bucks on lunch was no issue. Once my work commission got cut over 4 years ago I cut that out and having my second child also contributed to it. People can see this as me becoming cheap fine but I will not spend $140 on lunch a month. I could take lunch everyday for less then $10 a week. Do I enjoy taking lunch everyday? Honestly no. I wanna go to Chipotle, Panda Express or Carl's Jr on my break for lunch. But now I have 2 children, more bills and don't make as much as I used to plus the child support I should get for my oldest son I don't and I'm losing hope that I ever will. All this is fine as long as you learn to budget everything. My problem I feel like I'm the only one who cares about the budget. I feel like others around me don't. I can't get my mom to see spending $40 at the casino is too much. I can't get my dad to realize he takes unnecessary trips to Sam's club. I can't get the hub to take lunch to work or eat at home more often to save a few dollars. Every time I say anything it's like I get the "oh your such a cheap ass" vibe for everyone. I'm I really a Cheap ass?? Is it bad to want to try to pay down my credit card bill I have from a rough point in 2008 that I needed emergency money to cover a unexpected expense which I'm still mad at my self for not having the entire amount in savings? Is it bad to never want to be short on rent or borrow money from people? Yes every dollar counts which is why I gave up Starbucks, getting my nails done along time ago, going to clubs, drinking at bars often and shopping just because I feel like it. My guilty pleasure is getting tattooed but I've even cut that back by having to put my right arm work hold till I totally have the money saved up for it. As much as I want to go to Canada, England and Australia all that will wait till the cash is saved. I cut coupons when I can thanks to extreme couponing I'm no longer ashamed to use them.  I will continue my cheapassness as long as I keep working 40 hours a week to survive.

The Christmas, the gifts and the tattoo.

It's a odd numbered year boys and girls which according to court papers makes it our turn to have Zen & Wednesday ( my step kids). It's times like this I'm OK with not getting child support from my sons father and having a custody agreement because it means I don't have to worry about not spending a Christmas away from him. I probably wouldn't mind if his father was a little more responsible and didn't ask last minute. It's the time when my husband is at piece because he knows exactly were his kids are the whole time they are here. Anyways in total we are a family of 6 when the kids are here. It's a 11, 10, and 9 year old plus the 1 we share together who is 3. Our 3 yr old was easy to shop for this season. I finished her shopping on black Friday. The older ones not so easy. We finally decided to just get them each a 3DS. This way there is no complaining about he got more, I got less blah blah blah... everything is the same and we spent the same amount on all 3. The step kids usually fly back to Texas but this year I will be driving them to Cali since their mom will be out there then they will just drive back to Texas. I'm not excited to see them leave but I will being getting a tattoo that day while I'm out there. Last time I was tattooed was in February so it's long over due! I'm excited! I will be collecting my first piece from Mat Hurtado at Black Anchor Collective!!! I have some work from another Black Anchor Collective artist Carlos Rojas who I hope to get my right arm sleeved by some day when I have saved up enough for it. Is it December 28th yet?

The 2 boys

I gave birth to my Bryan Anthony. I carried him for 39 weeks, had him with out pain meds and survived. If I had my way I would have kept him a 1 yr old forever. He has become so big. Today he made me upset when I came home because he told me he was bored and was practically in tears. So I told him "oh your bored? I'll show you bored!" and sent him upstairs to read a book. After dinner I sat and spoke with about a tragic event that has happened on his fathers side of the family and explained how they needed money. I told him how much they probably needed and asked him if he would be willing to help and he offered half of his savings which isn't much since he's only 10. But he said he was willing to donate it and wait on buying what he's been saving for. Of course I didn't take his money. I just put it out of my pocket. I usually get very annoyed because his dad doesn't help with money but today I'm thankful my baby and I have made it just fine all these year with out it thank God.

I didn't carry Zen, I didn't even know the baby Zen but I became his step mom once I married the Hubs. Every kid is picky. My son and step daughter are very picky. My husband is a picky ass too. But Zen isn't he's willing to try everything once. He makes cooking a home meal rewarding because he eats and asks for seconds. When he leaves in a few days I'm gonna miss cooking him meals. He doesn't get along with Bryan or Wednesday all the time but he is a protective big brother to the 3 smaller kids.

Adopt me!

Since I was a kid I have always known one thing. Someday I would like to adopt a child. I was always the kid who watched feed the children for hours on the weekends. If not I would watch a show in Spanish about donating money to children who had no food or proper shelter. I think that sparked my adoption idea, I remember wishing I could bring one of the kids home to live with me. Once while in Mexico waiting to go to the airport a child a lil older then me asked my father for taco money and he told us he was poor and had no parents, I remember asking my father to please let him come home with us because I wanted a brother and he had no family. I felt horrible leaving that kid behind. I didn't know him but knowing he had nobody made me who at the time was only 4 feel so bad that he couldn't just come home with us. I didn't know why some kid would be left alone to wonder the dangerous streets on Mexico.  I have 2 kids that I carried and gave birth to. I have 2 I have gained from marriage. My heart has always wanted 3. Yes technically I have 4 but 2 of them only spend about 60 days a year with us. The other 300 they are with their mother. So most of the time it's just my 10 yr old and 3 yr old. My mom had 3 kids, my sister has 3 kids. 3 just seems like a good number, it's not too much and not too little. 

I've only mentioned it to a few people in my life that I would like to adopt. My sons father thought I was insane for wanting to bring a strange child that was not blood into the family. Hmmmmmmmmmm could have to do with a reason why me and him are no longer together. Why is it crazy to want to care for a child who needs a caring loving family? Why get knocked up when their are so many kids out there who need someone? If you think adoption is crazy well then I think your a heartless asswipe. A guy I dated for 2 years thought adoption was a crazy idea too. Now as for my husband we have discussed it. He says he would be fine with adoption but I don't know exactly how much effort he would put towards actually going through with it since he has other goals he wants to focus on. We have looked at the idea of having 1 more child but our daughter is still too young. Sorry I'm the kind of person who wants kids 5 yrs apart. By the time a child is 5 they understand more who that crying baby is that you brought home from the hospital. I don't have a crazy goal of by when I wanna have all my kids. If I have one after 30 no big deal. Truth is I want a little boy though. If I had another child I wouldn't be able to pick the sex. Now if I could adopt I would be able too. 

Here are the problems with adoption though. If you adopt a child from the U.S it's very expensive and no matter how many papers you sign the biological mom could always try to come into the picture. It's also very time consuming and it could take a few years before we even get a child. Thats if we even get approved. Now there is out of country adoption I've looked into that. It's still expensive but the process isn't that long. Only thing is that it would take a few trips to the childs country to get everything organized and sometimes there are hold ups with immigration. 


As for our financial situation we wouldn't be able to afford adoption for a few years. Between the husband paying child support, spending over 2k on plane tickets a year for his kids to fly out here and my sons father avoiding child support like a mutha fucker money gets tight. Thank God we aren't poor poor but we don't exactly have 10k set aside to try to get a adoption process started. This may not be something I will ever get to do in my life but it's something I would love to do if I got the chance. A person I admire very much is a wonderful mother to the child she adopted years ago as a baby and is now a grown successful young man, who has a amazing relationship with her. Maybe one day " si dios quiere " like my mom says, my dream of adoption could happen.  
 

It was a mix of the Brady bunch minus 3 kids then plus 1.

It's a full house in the summer. I had just my son Bryan 4 years ago. Then once I married my husband I became the step mom of 2 more children. A boy named Zen and a girl named Wednesday. Then a few months later we had our spawn together Mia Monroe.

I have Bryan (gordo) full time sometimes he goes to see his father but it's very very rare. He has a lame excuse for a father. The man has not paid child support since we split over 7 yrs ago. He probably never will. So I keep my son full time because his father is not responsible. Zen and Wednesday live in Texas. Their mom decided to move out there a little before I met my husband so we only have them in the summer, before or after Xmas and every other Thanksgiving. Its not enough time but it's the best that we can get when it comes to our wallet. Since Mia is our only child together she is the only one who never has to go any where.


Right now the house is full. Video games are being played. There is loud laughing going on and kids running up and down the stairs consuming go gurts and juice bags like crazy ( caprisuns). Mini vacation trips to six flags California are being planned. Sam's club is loving our extra weekly shopping. My husband is more at peace having all kids under one roof, instead of worrying about the other 2 being so far and missing out on more then half of their lives. He doesn't have to worry about the phone not being answered when he calls them or the phone he calls them on being broken. He has 42 days of seeing and talking to them every single day. There is a little more life in the house while the step kiddos are here. It's summer time at the Rosas house. Time to soak it all in with quality time with each other. Have fun and let the kids relax.