The SEX and the ED

 

The time has come.... today I signed the permission slip for my 11 yr old allowing him to attend a hour long class that will tell him about the human reproductive system and HIV/AIDS.  Shit I still remember taking my class in elementary.  Raising a boy of course is different then a girl but aye no sometimes there are so many things I worry about.


During our last trip to California we had dinner with Calidad (my mother in law) who has no problem with conversations about sex and sexuality. During our loud family dinner along with my 2 brother in laws, one who is my age (Cezar) and another who is younger then my son (Chris) and Priscilla (older bro in laws GF) , Cezar decided to ask why they would be left alone so much as kids. Calidad looked at him and said she was only down the street from the house at church. Then she told them don't think I didn't know what you guys would do while I was gone because I would find those movies and the magazines.  Hahaha. Yes the Playboys

and the cheap porn they would steal from "socks and flip flops" (their dad). This is what I fear. I don't wanna find the porn or sexy babes on the computer history or catch him watching Skinamax (cinemax) past 10pm. Thinking his man voice is going to come soon and he will need to shave and probably have horrid acne soon is bad enough.

Esto es Calidad..this is quality

We have a secret Nickname for the mother in law "Calidad" which means Quality. Martha is not your average mother in law. The first day I met her she offered me something to drink and came back with a Heinken Light. She said it was good por que it had less carbs. Hahaha. How many people have a mother in law who gives you a beer when you first meet her? My mother in law is no longer married to the short angry sock and sandal wearing man who is my father in law. They have been divorced for over 15 years. Her nickname comes a minor altercation she had with a girlfriend my father in law had soon after their divorce. Apparently she went over to his house and the chick opened the door and she started showing off her goods telling her "this is quality". My husbands reenactment of it always makes me laugh. One time I told my husband I was pretty sure his mom had a nickname for his penis when he was a baby since most mexican woman do and he didn't believe me. Of course I asked Martha and I was right she called it "pajarito" hahaha. A couple of weeks ago I asked her why she named my hub Juan because no body ever ever ever calls him that. 95% of the time I forget that's his first name. She told me it was because when she was 17 and pregnant with him there was a actor who was hotter then Justin Beiber named "Juan Carlos" lol. How she knows anything about Beiber is beyond me. She enjoys wine and beer which if I ever saw my mom drink more then one small coke with alcohol during the holidays I would cry. I feel bad for all the girls who have rude, bitchy, and evil mother in laws. Martha is nowhere near that. She stays out of our business. So if you have a mother in law who sucks let me tell you...sucks being you sucka and yea it's ok if your jealous. My mother in law has courage and no shame (most of the time) and I wouldn't have it any other way!