Hoodrat, Hoe, Puta, skank, house wrecker its all the same.

Dear Asswipe ,


Stop trying to fuck around on your wife. It's sick and annoying. Keep your dick in your pants nobody wants to see it. Stop trying to be a player via text cuz your ass is gonna get caught. Stop trying to be slick on FB and via email. Remember you can't make that hoe house wrecker a housewife. Ask Snoop Dogg. Grow your ass up and appreciate your wife cause your ass is going to be one sorry piece of shit when she leaves you. I'm totally on the side that hopes she leaves you ASAP.

Sincerely,


the girl who is extremely pissed by what she found out.




Dear Pretty girl,

Your worth so much in this world. You have so many who love you. I wanna tell you that it's OK to walk away from your situation. Your happiness is important and if you can't be happy inside it will show on the outside and your baby will pick up on that later on. Your strong, amazing and smart. Put your head on your shoulders and walk away from that which is causing you nothing but pain and unhappiness. It's OK. We all fail a little sometimes but don't punish yourself over it life will be just fine.  Put your little pack of courage together and stand up for your self and follow your gut.


Love always and forever,


 the little girl you once saved.

Thanks Peppa

There a little pig and she is British and her name is Peppa Pig. My 3 yr old watches her on Nick Jr and YouTube all the time. Peppa has a cute accent which my daughter is starting to pick up. There is alot of Mummy being said instead of Mommy. There are other things she has been saying with a accent lately as well. It's cute, I know people are going to look at us funny if she does it in public. LOL. I think it's pretty awesome. I love British accents. I wonder if we could get her to keep talking like this full time? haha

Sure I'll take free money.

Who doesn't like free money? I'm sure there are a few people who would rather work then take free money. I was talking about welfare with my BBF the other day. We were discussing how we know some people who totally take advantage of the system. From welfare, cash aid, food stamps, medicare, gain, section 8 and other different types of government programs. I went to the welfare office a couple times when I was pregnant. I was 15 and not married so my only choice was to get medi-cal from the state to be able to get health care for myself and my unborn baby. My parents lived in Las Vegas so I couldn't be covered by their work insurance and since I wasn't married I couldn't have my son's father add me to his. It was my first and only time having to request medi-cal. Have you ever been to a welfare office? It's not a pleasant place. There is kids running around, chicks who have 4 little ones and another one on the way, ghetto people, chicks who have their nails done rockin Gucci whether its real or not I have no clue, there are people in there who look so poor and in so much need as well and it makes you feel bad. Your case worker is behind a glass. I don't know why I guess people get violent there. I still remember how horrible my case worker made me feel. I never applied for anything else other the medi-cal.I probably qualified for food stamps and cash aid but I never asked.

When it comes to cash aid and food stamps I think the government should add extra rules. Yes they should drug test. Even though there is so many dam loop holes to get that going. They should monitor how cash aid is used as well. There is no reason why the girl who is getting cash aid should be rockin gucci and a fresh full set of nails. They should be forced to attend budgeting and money handling classes. No I am not saying everyone who gets cash aid is guilty of misspending it. Food stamps should go back to food stamps not a debit card. Ms Gucci Fendi Prada sure wouldn't feel so comfortable paying at Vons with those. If you are in need of the food stamps you wouldn't mind paying with old food stamps because you need it.

On to Gain and other programs of the sort. I will most likely never receive child support for my oldest thanks to Gain and my bff will probably get child support because of this either. See "our baby daddy's" benefit from this program. It hooks them up with cash and food stamps. Which in turn prevents us from child support because the government considers them too poor to pay. And its not like we don't know our X's. I know mine drinks like a fish so Corona and Bud Ice probably get 75% of his cash aid. I understand things can get hard but people get use to this kind of thing. It's because it's a easy for sure thing for them to count on.  Gain also pays for daycare which people totally abuse of. Anybody can be your Gain babysitter and you can report to Gain they babysit full time then spilt the check they get with them. California are you starting to wonder why your in so much debt?


Have you ever tried to rent a house and notice the big sign that says "section 8 OK". See landlords aren't stupid. When somebody is on section 8 the government picks up the tab so the landlord knows he will be getting his money every month like clock work. Who cares if they have 10 kids and destroy the home, your money is in the bank and it's all that matters. Government checks don't bounce. And yes there is people who live years and years using this program and don't get jobs because like clock work this covers their ass.

Not everyone who benefits from these programs really deserves it and that's what's annoying. There is too much abuse of these things and in the long run it ruins it for the good because what ends up happening is the single mother who really needs food stamps to provide her kids with healthy food gets denied because she is over gross income is over by $10 dollars and doesn't qualify.

Overnight

House rule..dirty dishes cannot stay in the sink overnight.

So quick to jump,

We all have our own defensiveness. Some can take more then others. Some snap 20 seconds before processing the situation. I strongly believe we get this from our parents and what we see as children. Example my mom is calm and for the most part can stay that way even when being pushed. Her instinct to defend herself kicks in slower then for most people. My father is far less of a hot head then any of his 11 siblings. I think it's because he is the oldest and had to learn to have patience for the younger ones. He's also managed to stay out of trouble compared to most of them as well. This makes my blood less snappy. Which means my asshole level isn't high. My maximum assholeness comes out when I feel I am being lied too or something is being hidden from me. I'm also a jerk if your mean. I wasn't like this when I was younger. I think after holding in so many things that would piss me off I hit my breaking point when I was about 20. I became more meaner more alert. I don't snap and do things I regret often. When I'm pissed I try to keep my regrettable actions to a minimum. I'm not the girl who will get pissed, and disown you as a family member or friend just because you piss me off once. I won't tell you to fuck off especially if I have something that will keep me in your life for years to come. My parents never exposed me to "fuck you" jump out of the car fighting or to one leaving the house when they are pissed. These are things I'm not familiar with.


The hub on the other hand was exposed to lots of "Fuck you" attitudes "I'm leaving cuz I'm pissed" and many more parental fights that sound really nasty and I believe have caused slight inner damage. My hub is quick to jump the gun and pull out his defensiveness sometimes. He can be quick to mistake "nothing much" into a massive attack. This I blame on his to combinations of hot headed blood that make up his DNA. His process on reaction is quick. Sometimes this isn't a good thing. We refer to this as his inner Rosasness. Because of all the "fuck yous and fuck offs" he wasn't taught the true meaning of it.

Fuck you= I don't ever want to see you, speak to you or have anything to do with you as long as I live...ever. Once I tell you this there is no going back.

Fuck off= Stay out of my life for as long as I live. I don't want shit like you in my life. I don't care whatever happens stay away. There is no going back from here.



Remember when we are pissed we can't spit out what's at the tip of our tongue. As humans we need to learn to control our defensiveness no matter how much it feels right to jump 20 seconds before processing the situation. Love is and will always be one of the best things we could ever have. Control your defense level and use it only when truly needed.

She didn't know...

Me and the Rosas got married Febuary 15, 2008. The reason it wasn't sooner was because when I met him July 2007 his nerdy ass was still legally married. He filed in May 2007 she never contested it so he was just waiting for it to be final in October. At the end of October I found out I was pregnant with Mia and thats when he moved in which we had been planning the move since late August. On Febuaury 14 I told my dad I was going to LA to get married the next day at the court house he said ok and hugged me. We went to the court house the next day. I was wearing my jeans and billabong top. We had no witness. The judge let us tell  a lady standing in line that she could cut in line for being our witness. So romantic..I know. Hahaha. Nice lady said yes went in to the room and watched us get married. Plain, simple and to the point. 












I guess we may have forgot to mention this to a few people because last year my mother in law "Calidad" asked us when did we plan on getting married. I laughed and said " huh? we've been married for 3 years" hahaha.  Opps I guess we forgot to mention it to some people.

Something I don't really talk about.

When I was 15 my dad moved to Vegas 1st before me and my mom. We stayed with my mom's friend. She and her husband lived with of their 2 kids both in their 20's. Jorge was a sweet loner, had no friends never went out, just lived the life of from home to work. I could tell he lacked friends because any conversation we ever had was always a long and interesting one. He was smart just anti social. Turns out a few years before he was jumped and beat up so bad he just stopped going out. He turned into a computer nerd and neat freak instead. He ironed all his clothes. Then there was Maria she was wonderfully sweet. I didn't know her to well but we would talk sometimes and I grew up seeing her at church and working at our local drug store. She had recently moved back in after breaking up with her boyfriend.

When we moved in to this house I spent too much time at home since I was taking independent studies and only went to school 2 times a week. One day detectives came to knock on the door and I was the only one home. They asked for Maria and I told them she was at work. One looked at me and told me " when she comes home have her call me I have questions regarding the letter she wrote about what her x did and why she's was taking back what she said". I thought nothing of it told her parents when they came home and left it at that.


Some weeks went by and Maria got a new pretty Nissan  and was hanging out with a guy she worked with. One morning my mom woke up around 5am which was when Maria would leave to work. You would always hear her heels walking down the hall. She knew how to walk in them cause she never sounded like a horse. My mom said bye to her and went back to sleep. After my mom left for work her friend came and told me Maria never made it to work which was odd because she never missed work with out calling. I guess the guy who she was seeing called worried since she didn't show. My mom's friend was freaking out. I remember her telling me and me responding"I'm sure shes OK maybe she just went someplace." She was upset and wanted her husband to go around looking for her and he kept telling her in Spanish" where the hell do you want me to go look at?" I got ready and left to my boyfriends house at the time. Him and his brother knew her because they went to JR high together. This was on a Saturday and the news came on at noon and for some reason we happened to be watching at his house.  The reporter stated a Nissan  had been found in the parking lot of a apartment complex with the body of a woman in it. They showed a picture of the car and I knew it was hers. She hadn't gotten her plates yet I knew it was her car. I called my mom right away and said " did Carmen come home yet?" She said "no and her mom is so worried". I told her " mom you can't say anything yet please don't say anything but the news just reported the body of a woman was found in a Nissan just like hers and I'm pretty sure it's her I hope it's not but I know it's her car" My mom stayed quiet for a second. I said again " don't say anything yet" and she said "OK". I told her I would call her later and that I loved her and hung up. When I spoke to my mom again she said the police had came and took her brother to ID the body. Ugh my heart fell again like when I saw the news report. It was real.



The next few days where just sad and gloomy. Questions of how could this happen? Who did this? Detectives coming asking questions. Her mom with so much sadness in her face and heart. Her father who tried to hold it in but looked sadder then ever.


I came to find out her X had a criminal past apparently a big one. When she left him he would threaten to come to the house and kill her family. I guess during their good times he confessed too much to her and once she left him she wrote a letter to the police telling them everything she knew but he found out and threaten her again which is why she took back what she said. Which is why detectives had came weeks before to question why she had taken back her statement.

Nobody will ever know the exact details of what took place that day but from what we did learn it went something like this. She left early around 5ish like normal but stopped at to get cigarettes and soda. She didn't smoke. She then went to meet her criminal x. Why? I don't think anybody knows the answers. Maybe it was because she was so sweet and felt bad for him. Maybe he said I just wanna talk. But whatever the reason was he killed her and left her in the trunk of the car. She fought back that we do know because some of her fake nails fell off but he still manged to slit her throat.


What was going to happen the day before was that the police were going to arrest her X based upon the statement she had sent them. She told them to wait till Monday instead for some reason and that cost her her life that day.




Her X was arrested but still managed to get one of his hoes to place 3 way calls for him from jail and threaten the family. Shortly after this happened her brother moved to a hour away because he was scared this guy would have him killed. The family sold the home right after me and my mom moved.

When I would go to the cemetery with my BFF sometimes I would take her flowers. It's sad to think some asshole could kill someone as sweet as her. I don't even think he has been sentenced yet. He keeps trying to convince the system he's insane. At one of his court dates he ate his own shit to make them think he is mentally unstable.  Barf!

I don't talk about this much but I think about it sometimes since this is something I can never block out.