The important, the hopes and the wants.

My mom leaves for her home country tomorrow. She will be in Costa Rica for till February 9th enjoying some much needed time off with her favorite sisters. I haven't been in years. I wanna go. I do. But I haven't really had the chance to do so. The working full time doesn't really allow it nor do my 2 spawns. So I've lagged it and haven't renewed my passport. I haven't left the country since 2007. Wow it's been a while. Vacation and travel is a hope and a want. It's not really important. Maybe that's why I haven't made it a priority.

My Lego heart....

Our hearts are a ugly organ. They aren't pretty like the valentine candy tattoo hearts I have on my wrist. Much less is it as pretty as a Lego heart.

I have 2 children I carried each for over 38 weeks. I'm the mom. Being the mom means tons of stuff falls on you. How they are dressed, wether they are fat, skinny, and how much video game time they are allowed in one day. I'm not a strict mom but my kids are not allowed to walk all over me. I piss them both off. If my son wants to play with my iPad all day and I tell him he can't I get his silent cry. If my daughter wants to go " bye bye" and I saw no I get the bratty annoying drama queen cry. The longest I've ever gone with out seeing my boy is 2 weeks and that was because he went on vacation to Costa Rica with my mom. I had no body to baby sit him so I had to let him go. My daughter is 3 and the longest she's ever been gone is 2 days because my sister took her to California for a birthday party. Since they are 7 years apart they don't fight. It's more like they just annoy each other.

I hope one day they will understand my mommy heart. I hope they will understand why I nag them and discipline them. I hope they understand why I'm not a stay at home mom. I hope that they understand my life is 15% about me and 85% about them.